WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
A goldfish and a mountain goat ?
One mucks around in fountains.
A magician's wand and a poli*ceman's baton ?
One is used for cunning stunts.
A cross eyed archer and a constipated owl ?
One shoots but can't hit.
A Swiss admiral and a reliable vacuum cleaner ?
One sucks and sucks and never fails.
Caucus and cactus ?
One has the pri*cks on the outside.
A girl in church and a girl in the bath ?
One has a soul full of hope.
A war horse and a draught horse ?
One darts into the fray.
Your girlfriend and your bank account ?
Nothing, You lose interest on withdrawal.
A good girl and a nice girl ?
A good girl has the bloom of youth in her cheeks but
the nice girl has the cheek of youth in her bloomers
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