Various

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He sho*ots his
friend and ki*lls him.
Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends"

A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother"
Santa wrote back, "Send me your mother"

What is the definition of Mist*ress?
Someone between the Mister and Matt*ress

Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
Without Information Figh*ting Everytime
Wife replies
No, It means, "With Idiot For Ever"

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is preg*nant, Tension is when girlfriend is preg*nant,
and Panic is when both are preg*nant.

Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got
a heart attack & our driver ran away

A women asks man who is traveling with six children, "Are all these kids
yours?"
The man replies, " No, I work in a con*dom factory and these are customer
complaints"

A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident and
confidential.
Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over
there, is also my son, that's confidential"