Zen for those who take life too seriously!

Zen for those who take life too seriously!
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1. Save The Whales. Collect The Whole Set.

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2. A Day Without Sunshine Is Like, Night.

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3. On The Other Hand, You Have Different Fingers.

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4. I Just Got Lost In Thought. It Wasn't Familiar Territory.

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5. 42.7 Percent Of All Statistics Are Made Up On The Spot.

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6. Light Travels Faster Than Sound, Which Is Why Some People Appear Bright Until You Hear Them Speak.

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7. I Feel Like I'm Diagonally Parked In A Parallel Universe.

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8. Honk If You Love Peace And Quiet.

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9. Remember, Half The People You Know Are Below Average.

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10. He Who Laughs Last, Thinks Slowest.

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11. Depression Is Merely Anger Without Enthusiasm.

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12. The Early Bird May Get The Worm, But The Second Mouse Gets The Cheese.

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13. I Drive Way Too Fast To Worry About Cholesterol.

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14. Support Bacteria. They're The Only Culture Some People Have.

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15. Monday Is An Awful Way To Spend 1/7 Of Your Week.

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16. A Clear Conscience Is Usually The Sign Of A Bad Memory.

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17. Change Is Inevitable, Except From Vending Machines.

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18. Get A New Car For Your Spouse. It'll Be A Great Trade!

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19. Plan To Be Spontaneous Tomorrow.

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20. Always Try To Be Modest, And Be Proud Of It!

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21. If You Think Nobody Cares, Try Missing A Couple Of Payments.

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22. How Many Of You Believe In Psycho-Kinesis? Raise My Hand.

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23 . Ok, So What's The Speed Of Dark?

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24. How Do You Tell When You're Out Of Invisible Ink?

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25. If Everything Seems To Be Going Well, You Have Obviously Overlooked Something.

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26. When Everything Is Coming Your Way, You're In The Wrong Lane.

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27. Hard Work Pays Off In The Future. Laziness Pays Off Now.

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28. Everyone Has A Photographic Memory. Some Just Do Not Have Film.

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29. If Barbie Is So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends?

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30. How Much Deeper Would The Ocean Be Without Sponges?

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31. Eagles May Soar, But Weasels Do Not Get Sucked Into Jet Engines.

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32. What Happens If You Get Scared Half To Death Twice?

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33. I Used To Have An Open Mind But My Brains Kept Falling Out.

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34. I Couldn't Repair Your Brakes, So I Made Your Horn Louder.

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35. Why Do Psychics Have To Ask You For Your Name?

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36. Inside Every Older Person Is A Younger Person Wondering What Happened.

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37. Just Remember - If The World Did Not Su..ck, We Would All Fall Off.