Meet the Parents

> Meet the Parents
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> In every romantic relationship there comes a time to meet the parents. The
> stress of wondering if they will like and accept you can lead to
> embarrassing misstatements. To help you avoid some of the most common
> conversational pitfalls I've compiled a list of the Top Ten things not to
> say to your girlfriend's parents when you meet them for the first time:
>
> 10. Gee, Pops, you're not nearly as big an as..shole as your daughter said
> you are.
>
> 9. Wazzzaaaaap!
>
> 8. The water in your toi..let tastes funny.
>
> 7. You got a spoon and a lighter I can borrow? I left mine at home.
>
> 6. No... No... It's OK. I kinda like it when your dog hu..mps my leg.
>
> 5. Your daughter is attractive, but have you seen the ti..ts on her
friend?
>
> 4. Hi, Mr. Jones. I'm Bob. This is Chuck, George, Steve and the midget is
> Sam. Is Sally ready?
>
> 3. (While honking horn in driveway) Hey! I'm waiting out here! Send the
> bit..ch out!
>
> 2. You should be proud, Mr. And Mrs. Smith, you've raised a good girl. I
> can't get her to bl..ow me no matter what I say.
>
> And the number 1 thing not to say when you meet your boy or girlfriend's
> parents for the first time:
>
> 1. Man, living under the same roof with a piece of a..ss like that, I bet
> you wish you were anyone else but her father.